Can't Have This
by stargazerlilith
Summary: The plan had been genius in its simplicity. He would sneak off with the hat rack to work on things—preferably against a wall with petite legs wrapped around him.


For hellosweetie17.

I love my best friend who resides in Soukoku Hell with me and this is completely her fault. This is crack, just complete and utter crack. Side Note- I don't own Demi Lovato's Sorry Not Sorry.

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Dazai didn't expect things to turn out like this. He had persuaded Mori and Fukuzawa that it was in their best interests to keep the truce for now. It was just supposed to be a simple celebration of the Guild's defeat with the Port Mafia at one of the Mafia's bars.

He had thought it was a perfect opportunity to talk to the chibi. Hell, even Atsushi and Akutagawa were speaking to each other in hushed voices over in a very dark corner. Interesting... Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to the problem at hand.

But this.. _.this…_ wasn't what he expected.

Of course, he had made sure to keep the hat rack's wine flowing (not that the chibi executive noticed). Chuuya had been busy enjoying himself and laughing with Kenji and some mafia members.

And he had just thought...well more like predicted that tonight would end with him and Chuuya. But, fuck...this isn't what he had in mind.

Dazai took a sip of his scotch and frowned. He lifted his eyes to the stage and grimaced at the sound of Chuuya's wonderfully talented voice floating over everyone. He could see all of them turning to watch him.

And boy wasn't it something? Who wouldn't want to watch the minx in his element? _Fucking Chuuya._ Now everyone at the ADA who had a brain was gonna know the damn truth.

Damnit. He blamed Atsushi for suggesting karaoke. _Just damnit._

The plan had been genius in its simplicity. He would sneak off with the hat rack to work on _things—_ preferably against a wall with petite legs wrapped around him. But, apparently the slug had a better idea and that did not include them reconciling. Not if the choice of song was any indication.

Setting the scotch on the bar, Dazai quietly made his way to a nearby table in front of Chuuya's serenade. Locking eyes with Chuuya, he let the words wash over him and ignored the catcalls made towards his petite mafia. He would remember them later. For that he was sure.

Dazai watched the sweet torture of Chuuya's sensual moves and wondered if the petite mafia was trying to kill him. It wasn't like the hat rack didn't know exactly what he was doing, moving his body like that. He watched as Chuuya's gloved hand traveled down his chest as he popped his hips forwards. Biting his lip, Dazai placed his head on the table with the intent to beat it into the wood with a low groan when a leather gloved hand yanked his head up.

"Baby, fineness is the way to kill. Tell me how it feel, bet it's such a bitter pill. And yeah I know you thought you had bigger, better things. Bet right now this stings," Chuuya sang at him before slamming his head against the wood and sauntering away with an added swing to his hips.

Ignoring the throbbing in his head, Dazai grinned. He could play this game. He was good at this game. Quickly, he scrambled up to the stage and damned everyone who saw him. His hat rack was teasing him.

"Wait a minute," he sing-songed as he reached for the chibi executive, only to have cloth escape his fingertips.

Chuuya spun on his heel and pushed a gloved hand against his chest. "'Cause the grass is greener under me. Bright as technicolor, I can tell that you see," Chuuya sang, gesturing to himself as he moved his hips to the beat. "And yeah, I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this, but it gets worse."

"Wait a minute," Dazai sang, moving towards Chuuya and growling when what's-his-face got up on the stage, too. He remember that the kid was always panting after his chibi, but did he really think he still had a chance? Not over his dead body...hmmm maybe Chuuya's too. Double Black lover suicide had a nice ring to it.

Dazai narrowed his eyes as someone yelled, 'Go for it, Tachihara!' Bastard, not on his life. Going towards them, Dazai stopped short as Chuuya placed his arm around Tachihara's neck and was grinding into him obscenely. Standing with his mouth open, he stared wide eyed at the spectacle in front of him.

"Now payback is a bad bitch, and baby I'm the _baddest._ "

Chuuya grinned at him before placing a gentle kiss, followed by a lick on the dead man's neck. Dazai could only see red as he moved forwards to punch the other man. That was his chibi, his...He was stopped short by a pull to his tie, yanking him down. Peering face to face with Chuuya's feral grin, he swallowed thickly. Dazai moaned unabashedly as Chuuya kissed him all teeth and tongue in front of everyone before sauntering away.

Dazai watched helplessly dumbfounded as Chuuya looked back over his shoulder and sang, "You fuckin' with a savage. Can't have this, can't have this."

"Ah, chibi's being so mean~" Dazai whined, trailing after the petite executive like a lost puppy.

Chuuya spun on his heel, swaying his hips. Dazai groaned as Chuuya leaned against him, forcing Dazai to put a hand on his hip to steady him. It was the simple truth, now... he was going to die— _Death by Chuuya._

Chuuya grinned wickedly at him before pushing him away with added force, sending him stumbling backwards.

"And it'd be nice of me to take it easy on ya, but nah," Chuuya sang with a shake of his hips before throwing the mic over his shoulder and disappearing off the stage, leaving Dazai sprawled on the floor with his mouth hanging open.


End file.
